Banana Muffins

My Grammie was a nurse. That is, she was a nurse when she wasn't at home with her three kids being Dr. Mom. She worked as a nurse both before her children and then after they were in school. I figure she must have been a good nurse as my mother often reminds me she even worked with the famous Dr. Penfield. That's right, the fellow from the Canadian history moments who helped map the human brain. (Dr. Penfield, I smell burnt toast!) As a child, I remember how sharp her mind was. She could keep on top of a sea of grandchildren and never let one of us get out of line. I guess that was why I found it so hard to accept that she had alzheimer's disease. She went from a brilliant women to a confused woman trying to put her folded laundry in her oven. Alzheimer's seemed to me to change her whole personality. She forgot her whole self and became a sort of sweet generic granny-type who was nothing less than bubbly. My Grammie was generally a caring but serious woman. This whole process upset me. When I was finally old enough to confront her for various issues that stalked my relationship with her, she was gone. She slipped away and this person who looked like her but had simply forgotten the last 40 years of her life walked through our door one Christmas. She found it confusing to see her grandchildren, because she knew that she should recognise us, but simply didn't. She had it easier with me, because I look quite similar to my mother and my Aunt. Every time Grammie saw me she'd inevitably call me by their names. If my Mom and I were standing together, she'd get very uncomfortable for a moment, then settled on calling me by my Aunt's name, if anything. It was so frustrating, because we had only recently gone through the same thing with my paternal grandfather. I had for the last few years of his life been called by my grandmother's, who passed away before I was in school, name. I was in high school when he passed away, and now in university I wasn't sure I was prepared to deal with all the drama all over again, least of all with a woman who I wanted so badly to call out on so many things. I wanted a chance to heal my relationship with her after years of bitterness. Instead, I was faced with this charming woman, who oddly enough reminded me of the sweet little grandmother I had always wanted. On the day before she passed away, she had a day of complete clarity. She remembered everything, and all of us, although she was in many ways too weak to say what she needed to stay. Instead, she layed patiently as each of us spoke to her our final words. When it was my turn, I didn't have the heart to call her to task for years of misunderstandings. All I could do was give her one last hug and say that I would miss her and that I loved her. In the end, that provided more catharsis than dragging out all my issues ever could have. Now, here I am a few years later trying to recapture some fond memories of her. Some days it's like chasing butterflies, but other days it's much easier. There is so much of those good memories tucked away between the lines of her favourite recipes, it's not hard to find them over a bite of her chili, some bread, or even a simple muffin made from scratch.

In honour of my Grammie as a nurse, I chose a recipe from her cookbook on a typed out page titled "Nutrition Week". I was nervous that I would find something granola and flavourless. However, as I had an abundance of bananas, I was intrigued by the Banana Muffins first, and oh boy were they great. Now, I'm not so health-conscious as my Nurse grandmother, so I fouled up the recipe a little and added some chocolate chips. To counteract that, though, I also added some flax seed. I reduced my guilt, but to be honest I wasn't that guilty to start with. These banana muffins are more of a treat than a breakfast food. They're easy to make, and even easier to eat. I hope you enjoy them!

2 cups flour

1/2 cup white sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 tsp cinnamon or nutmeg

1 medium banana (mashed)

1 egg

1/2 cup milk

1/3 cup vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine all dry ingredients. Sift them together until they're evenly blended. I find the dark cinnamon or nutmeg is a great hint of how well mixed it is. Make a little well in the middle of your flour mix, and add the remaining ingredients. Stir them until the flour mixture is evenly moistened, but don't overmix it as this will make your muffins heavy. If you want to add anything (nuts, chocolate chips...) now is the time to do it. I put in 1/2 bag of chocolate chips and folded them in carefully, trying to not overstir the batter. I might also recommend to keep the whole mix nice and moist you might want to add another mashed banana to offset any other additives.

Spoon your batter into a greased muffin pan, filling each cup 2/3 full. Bake 15-20 minutes or until they're golden brown. Pop them out onto a wire cooling rack and eat! They're great on their own or with a little dab of butter. I'm salivating just thinking about it. Time to go grab another one!

Enjoy your baking!